Holly Howard: September 2009

It dawned on me that a creative persons work be it fashion, art or music, their work is them. Their personality, in one way or another is stamped in there somewhere. Hence their personal creative styles. So the understanding of me means the understanding of my work. I'm not going to bore you , (well I might) with an 'About me' section telling you that pretty much on the whole of it I had a pretty regular life for a human being, but then when I tried to come up with something 'uber' cool, fun, and interesting, I couldn’t so I’m going to chuck this at you. The bits you need to know for now......

I may possibly be about to write something that could potentially completely fuck up the reason in which I started this blog: to be seen as a passionate, determined, serious young designer. But then when have the consequence’s of my actions ever stopped me doing anything? My life is a consequence of my actions.

When I re-evaluated that statement I nearly pissed myself. Passionate? Completely, I have no qualms in making a tit of myself to show to the ignoramuses amongst us how important something is to me. For example pointing out that there is in actual fact slightly more to Vivienne Westwood than an orb, of which all fake diamante earrings need instantly destroying or painfully shoved up the arse of the wearer. Determined? You have to be, passion and determination come hand in hand and nothing comes to you. Well unless your born into the Hilton family, then you get to instantly release wonderful perfumes that smell of cucumber with a distinct and lingering smell of baby poo. Serious? Absolutely 100% Fuck no. I swear too much, I make a dick of myself, I’m a bit of a scruff, I cant handle my drink, I spend way too much money, I drive men insane (not in a good way), I cant decide if I’m common or posh (I’m a product of both and wish to be neither), I’m hot headed, and I’m a 22 year old Single mother of a five year old. I am literally the least serious person I know.

Right waffle over, its time to conclude. (A style of my writing I’m hoping you will come to love, as it’s the only way I have.)

Back to my initial point, the reason I started this blog was to light up a new little star in the vast enormity of the fashion industry. Yet when I started to write or add my images or edit I saw absolutely nothing that reflected me. No swearing, (not for politeness but for impression), no jokes in case they offended or weren’t quite 'witty' enough, no opinions, no me. It’s a problem I’ve had all my life. I'm always trying to impress and always end up doing the complete and utter opposite. It’s as if I feel I owe it to people to be what they want me to be. So as a fashion designer, I cant like anything tacky, I cant say anything crude, I definitely cant be getting drunk and making ' complete and utter arse out of ones self'. I mean if I were to do that, if I were to lose all the traits of my character and be ‘sophis’ clearly my talent as a designer would quadruple right? Bullshit.

I suddenly thought about all the people who are in my life because they want to be. They love me for what I’m not. Because I’m not up my own arse, because I’m not the most well groomed person ever, because I’m not desperate to be, act or look like everyone else (and that includes the self labelled 'individuals' whatever the hell they are), because I'm not a square peg that will fit in your Gucci handbag shaped slot.

So if you don't want to pretty much always be prepared for something a little un expected with both my work and myself, well your probably not even still reading. I won’t fit in with anyone or anything ever I’m afraid it’s an illness.